Posted on No Comments on Showing|Learning

Showing|Learning

For one of my classes in my first semester of college, my final project was to create an installation demonstrating how I learned in the class. Throughout the semester I was perpetually frustrated with the course. It was based in art history, but the art we looked at and the conversations we had remained centred around whiteness. That is a story for another post though. The installation had to include an image of ourselves as learners, objects, and a quote. I have compiled some photographs of this final project, my statement, and audio from my final presentation.

Presentation Audio

“The world is nothing but my perception of it. I see only through
myself. I hear only through the filter of my story.”
–      
Byron Katie

In
Psychology, there are two techniques that are recommended to help in learning
and memory: elaboration and self-reference. With elaboration, the learner makes
multiple connections to a stimulus. With self-reference, the learner makes
these connections to their own experiences. My time in How Do I Look highlighted through absence how difficult it is for
me to learn if I cannot elaborate and self-reference. One of our stimuli, the
Womanhouse project, was a feminist art project focused on womanhood; but the white,
suburban womanhood it portrayed was not something that resonated with me. The
layers of my experience as a Black, Caribbean woman from a working class
background made it difficult for me to connect with their narrative. One of the
class’s texts, the introductory chapter of Practices
of Looking, also discussed the value of self-reference, though it presented
it in a different way. That initial
chapter introduced the idea of ideologies as the beliefs and values that inform
how an individual interprets the world. The ideas self-reference and ideologies
as integral to learning and understanding stuck with me, and became the basis
of my image of myself as a learner.
My
piece, Iris, highlights these aspects
of my learning process in two ways: the layers and the lens. Iris is made up of
two parts to resemble an eye. The first is the iris, which is made of strips of
my written assignments. The strips overlap, but the overall shape is confined
within a concentric border. This represents elaboration the way every new
assignment would build upon existing knowledge and understanding of what I
knew.  The layers create a wide aperture,
the centre of which is a black velvet circle, representing the way I absorb new
knowledge. The entire image of the eye communicates the idea of learning and
ideologies creating a lens.
The objects I
chose tie my image and my in-class learning together again. I chose my
annotated printout of the first chapter of Practices
of Looking and my reading glasses. My copy of Practices is heavily annotated, often with notes that reference my
experiences and perspectives. My glasses–which I only use when I work– echo the
central theme of looking through a lens.  



Posted on No Comments on lessons i have yet to learn

lessons i have yet to learn

(22 July 2014)


Things that start with
“maybe if I”
and end with
“then I will feel better’
rarely ever work.
Happiness will not come from someone else’s touch
there is nothing and noone
you can put in your mouth
or on your body
that can bring you joy.

Posted on No Comments on primary caregiver

primary caregiver

(july 2013)



Step one of growing older in the presence of the elderly: observe how the giants of your childhood wither into frailty
Step two: begin to second guess every eccentricity
Is this what they meant by signs to look for?
When did she get so small?
How could she have ever forgotten my birthday?
Step three: dance around her with the nervousness reserved for the ill.
She will look at you with the resentment that can only come from those whom illness has only left shame and regret.
Step four: begin to hold her hand again.

It is one to thing to care for the senescent
And another to do it in the house they raised you in.

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bankrupt

(oct. 2013)

Part of me longs for richness

With wealth comes the freedom

To make your home in whatever place you like.

Tell me that true wealth comes from loving

And I will tell you that love goes far

But cannot feed empty bellies

You cannot pay bills on love alone

And too much of this life comes with a price.

Tell me I cannot eat money

But tell me what I can eat without it.

Tell me that true wealth comes from the people you hold in you heart

And I will tell you that there are people

Who want

-more than all these poor friends they seem to have-

To just stop feeling so worthless for a little while

Tell me again how your parents seemed completely certain

That sacrificing everything so their children could sample a bit of the lower middle class life was the right decision

Try telling them there is more to life than money

Tell me to rid myself of these ties to money

And I will tell you that you cannot unlearn generations of feeling that the money you earn is your only worth in one lifetime

And I still haven’t learned to stretch poverty into a life lesson.

Posted on No Comments on re: self care

re: self care

I am learning mantras

And rubbing them

Like oils into my skin

Mine is a good body

And the world,

Wondrous as it is,

Is made more so

When I am in it

These are my balms.

Let them be salves

For the cracks in my soul.