“And in my first year of college I was with this girl and I called it a thing.”

I loved you most when you were bold and bashful
wildeyed at 4 am
and brilliant
up late in the kitchen
sniffing daikon and shrugging
tasting everything
i loved you most when we were two warm bodies
moving together through the night
fitting perfectly

artifice

we speak in riddles and doublespeak
and half-finished glances
i am tired of never saying what i mean
and hoping you understand
me:
coy but ready
you:
distant but yearning
everything is artifice
and we are just playing parts


Day 3-Write about interpersonal relationships and the games we play to avoid vulnerability.

Tensions

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I am beginning to name my knots.

Let one in my neck be Wanting

from every time I clenched my jaw after breathing in her scent.

Let the tightness in my shoulder be Disappointment who is also called Shame

a product of still wanting him to touch me

even though we both know he shouldn't

and being caught between recoiling and not.

Finally, the chronic ache in my back will be Distance

from consistently loving people that are too far away.

In the same way one muscle contracts as the other relaxes

these pains are interconnected

and I know that all these names mean the same thing:

I hold on for far too long and I need to learn to let go.

Requiem

I only love those

slender boys with slight frames when 

they remind me of

you.