Posted on No Comments on Back Home

Back Home

(Lyrics from Back Home by Andre Tanker)

 

i went away / i leave an i come back
home / i come back to stay / i must see meh way

It feels as though every time I leave, it takes
longer to come back.

first six months, then nine, now ten–

as if they have been grooming me to leave
forever.

I ask myself how people could leave for years
and years and never look back?


not even once?

But the truth is, it gets easier.

What is one year more when you’ve been gone for
five?

or ten?


or twenty?

i went away / i leave an i come back
home / i come back to stay / i must see meh way

 Each time I fear that she
will not take me back.

I think anyone who has ever left home for length of time can tell
you about that fear

that you have changed too much to go back to the place

that you cannot call it home without a sour taste in your mouth.

You don’t live somewhere without it changing you and can’t come back
without those changes

Whether is a yankee accent, or an expectation of something better.

i went away /
looking for another home / tried to run away / run way from my destiny /

Yuh see, we is d people who does come back sayin ting like
“Well back in Canada…”

in another world /
a world that was strange to me / tried to change myself / change my identity

But what we doesn’t tell yuh is how we don’t fit there either

Because whatever Canada or New York or England or other northern
promised land we have created

Despite the efficiency of public transit or the cheapness of “food”

We know that we will never really be more than our hyphenations

Than our exotic accents

Than our otherness.

Calling there home gives you that sour taste too.

You can’t live somewhere without it shaping you, and you can’t leave
without taking whatever idea of home you had with you.

i went away / i leave an i come back
home / i come back to stay / i must see meh way

Posted on No Comments on Alphabet Love Song

Alphabet Love Song

Alphabet Love Song
(For PC 37, 38, 39)


A B C D E F G H… H… H…

H has become too heavy a letter for me.
Home, heart, hurt…
Heavy because home is where the heart is
And being here has halved my heart hundreds of times
So each of you can take it home with you.
And with your heart in over 80 countries,
There can only be hurt.

A B C D E F G H I J K L

Hurt and longing.
Longing for those you may never see again
And for those whom seeing everyday is still not enough,
Longing goes hand in hand with leaving and being left
And we learn to get good at that here, don’t we?

But there is also love.
So much love that it makes all this heaviness,
all this longing and leaving,
worth it.
So much love that it makes sense that I’d need
90 heart horcruxes to deal with it
and I know that whether I’m in
Argentina or Australia,
Zimbabwe or Zambia,
That there will always be love
And there will always be home.
Posted on No Comments on Shop Boy Crush

Shop Boy Crush

Do you have a lunch break, or do you
sustain on cuteness and sheepish smiles?
Because if you do, I do too.
And i don’t mean to be ambiguous but I do
mean both.
Because if you don’t have a lunch break, I
don’t really need
That soup and a sandwich I buy everyday
Just that smile…
See I’m like a plant except instead of
sunshine, I flourish on your shine
Because boy do you shine.
See I’m more like a flower than anything
else,
You know, like how they lean to the sun and
all?
Yeah, that’s my flow and I wouldn’t mind if
perhaps we could…
Pollinate?
No I’m just kidding, I meant conversate,
Oh sorry,
Converse, my bad.
Your brightness makes me a little dizzy
So forgive me if I get a little bit mixed
up,
You make my head light with your light.
And if you do break for lunch?
Perhaps you can take a break by the juice
bar
Because bar none, you are sweet
And it would be nice to see your other half
And perhaps another side of you
Other than” thank you and please come
again,”
though at this point I’m sure even though
you say that to all the girls
and all the boys
and whoever else may patronize this fine
establishment,
that you specifically mean me…
so if you have a lunch break, or sustain on
cuteness and sheepish smiles
remember I do too.