Flesh only begets more flesh
And this flesh of mine
-formed in sin and shapened in iniquity-
knows only lust
and I dance between longings.
Flesh begets more flesh.
Passions
i can’t keep twisting
my ankles to dance or
breaking my heart to write
Tensions
-->
I
am beginning to name my knots.
Let
one in my neck be Wanting
from
every time I clenched my jaw after breathing in her scent.
Let
the tightness in my shoulder be Disappointment who is also called Shame
a
product of still wanting him to touch me
even
though we both know he shouldn't
and
being caught between recoiling and not.
Finally,
the chronic ache in my back will be Distance
from
consistently loving people that are too far away.
In
the same way one muscle contracts as the other relaxes
these
pains are interconnected
and
I know that all these names mean the same thing:
I
hold on for far too long and I need to learn to let go.
Requiem
I only love those
slender boys with slight frames when
they remind me of
you.
Moonshine
Moonlight pours through my
window and reminds me that
while the days are too dark
the nights can still be bright.
Public Transit
Laughing at a stranger’s jokes
is equal parts relief
and mania.
Dear Beloved
An open letter to
everyone I’ve ever convinced myself I loved.
everyone I’ve ever convinced myself I loved.
I.
I am still sorry.
I fear that you were just the
first in a long line
of men I will be
all too willing to bury
my loneliness in.
II.
Now that I’ve figured
that you wronged me, I am not
ready to forgive.
III.
I loved you more than
you knew, but you were still right:
it was not enough.
IV.
I have learned what the
infinite tastes like but
I still haven’t learned
that people can’t be
fixed because they
aren’t broken,
aren’t broken,
or that I deserve
better.
psychosomatic
-->
i’ve grown accustomed
to the pain. in your
absence
everything else
aches.
Gossip
for D.
With the righteousness of youth
I convinced myself
That sharing whispers
-of your weight
-of your diets
was made nobler by the secrets
(my secrets)
you’d spilled like ink.
Indelible,
Unforgettable,
Unforgivable.
But ink fades.
Salt
I dreamt of salt
and woke with my mouth watering.
I dreamt of salt
and awoke in a blanket of sweat
and the scent of the sea
clogging my nostrils.
I dreamt of salt
and woke up bitter.